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As a lad I was told in school that evolution happened like a washing machine making bubbles. Add water, soap, some agitation and presto, you have bubbles! And bubbles are quite a lot like amoebas. Simple, right?
Of course, that was years before I learned a single cell has trillions of genetically orchestrated combinations, a bit more complicated than soap bubbles.
Beyond this my teachers did not tell me where the washing machine, water and soap came from to make those bubbly cells. Who made the washing machine? Where did the power come from to make it churn? Who pushed start?
They could not tell me where time, space and matter came from, or the energy to spark the evolutionary process. They could not explain how non-intelligence could “produce” intelligence. These were presumed by faith.
PICTURE THIS SCENARIO IN A 2nd GRADE CLASS TODAY
TEACHER: Good morning children. Today’s lesson is going to be of lifelong value to you. It will free you from nonsensical and unscientific ideas like God, purpose, and right and wrong.
It’s also going to be an easy class because I’m giving you the answer to all the questions right now. Two simple words – “Dumb luck.” To every question I ask, you simply answer, “Dumb luck.” Ok, Class, here we go! Where did the lungs come from?
Timmy: Dumb luck!
Teacher: Great answer Timmy! And where did the feet come from, Rose?
Rose: Dumb luck!
Teacher: Excellent, Rose.
Peter: How could we breath if we were not specially created with lungs?
Teacher: Peter, remember we don’t use the “C” word in my classroom! Please watch your tongue. The proper answer is always, “Dumb luck.” Rebekah, where did the ribcage come from?
Rebekah: Teacher, I know your answer is “dumb luck,” but it seems the ribcage is designed to support our breathing and protect our vital organs.
Teacher: Rebekah, what a silly idea! And we do not use the “designed” word in this classroom! Do you understand?
Rebekah: Yes, Mrs. Dumbluck.
Maryanne: But Mrs. Dumbluck, It seems every part of the body was made with a purpose. It seems the digestive system has a purpose.
Teacher: Maryanne, dear, we don’t use the “P” word in this Class.
Jimmy: But Mrs. Dumbluck, doesn’t it seem like the kidneys were made specially to cleanse the blood?
Teacher: Jimmy, Kidneys were not “made.” They just happened. There is no purpose. Everything is purposeless!
Jimmy: But Mrs. Dumbluck, if the parts of our human body were not designed and created how did they happen?
Teacher: Jimmy, I’m losing my patience with you. It’s very scientific! Right now, you wouldn’t understand if I tried to explain it to you. But it boils down to a very simple answer; “Dumb luck!” You will have to trust me since you don’t understand these things.
Sid: Mrs. Dumbluck, if the eyes, hands, liver and pancreas all have a purpose, I imagine all the parts put together have purpose. Each of us have a purpose!
Teacher: Sid, you are disrupting this class. I don’t like the attitude I’m getting in this classroom. Sid, do you need a time-out? Children, your lives are all meaningless. You have no purpose at all. You must start thinking clearly now!
There is no such thing as purpose or plan, all is accident and dumb luck. There is no such thing as good or bad, only dumb luck! All is accident and chance. Yes children, all of life is purposeless. Radom actions are responsible for everything around us. It may appear complex and planned but it’s not. It’s all accidental.
Martin: But, but…
Teacher: Children I am losing my patience. There are no “buts” in my class. Your disrespect and disagreeable attitudes must stop now!
I want to hear nothing but silence in this room for the next 15 minutes! Turn to your book on nihilism for your independent reading.
Jennifer: Mrs. Dumbluck, When we do our homework is that purposeless?
Cindy: Mrs. Dumbluck, my neighbor said they say in their church everything was made specially by God.
Teacher: Cindy, I’m going to send you away to detention, and to the fact-checkers, if you keep acting so arrogantly and ignorantly. What would your parents say if they learned the ridiculous things you were saying?
This whole class has been disagreeable and obstinate. I want every one of you to take out your tablets and write thirty times. “It’s all chance and dumb luck. Life has no meaning!”
I’m afraid letters are going out to parents today!
A DARWINIST’S PRAYER
If I was a Darwinist, how would I pray? I know I would be caught up in the wonder of the universe and want to find who, or what, to thank for it. If I believed in evolution I would bow my knees at its altar and worship because of life’s intricate wonder. Here is the prayer of an evolutionist.
“Oh, mighty belief system of our forefather, Darwin. I come to bow in appreciation for the ravishing wonder or creation, I mean, accident of life. How I am taken with the marvelous beauty of life all about me and even within my living body.
Thou art dumb, empty and aimless yet thou dost create, I mean accident, the most astonishing wonderment as minute as a virus and as great as leviathan.
O evolution, how great art thy mysteries. I am dumbstruck with thy stupefying, intricate design, I mean randomness, accidented out of your oblivion.
I know thou hearest me not, for thou art nothing, yet I must worship thee for all the teaming life about me in plant and animal. Thou art incapable of doing good or evil for thou art nonentity. But I have no other place to go with my marveling, gratitude and joy for the whole of thy handiwork, I mean again, accident.
I implore you as I bear my heart to you. Sometimes I struggle in my faith. Help me to fight off and win over every evil force which tempts be to believe in plan and design and purpose! Save me from the deluding teachings of an all wise-benevolent Creator. Please let me know that you are real – so I can count confidently on nothing but chance!
Steven C Johnson